The Road Less Traveled
According to the experts in the area of “conflict resolution,” there are five positions that can be taken to address a particularly difficult issue. The five positions are to compromise, compete, avoid, accommodate, and collaborate. All these positions are used by effective individuals, but choosing the correct response is often far more difficult.
We tend to gravitate towards one or two responses, not as a result of choice, but as a result of habit. And our habits are often grounded in our belief systems. These beliefs such as: “If I speak up I will be told to mind my own business” or “It’s best to choose your battles wisely” often translates into the habit of avoiding conflicts altogether. Our beliefs can work for us, (“It is best to not interrupt”), or they can work against us and become excuses for inaction, (“I’m too old to learn something new”).
The least selected position in the management of conflict is collaboration. In collaboration, we are asked to attack the issue, instead of trying to manage our personal feelings and emotions. In collaboration, it means negotiating about the problem, instead of trying to persuade an opponent to give in or give up. In collaboration, we are asked to understand reasons and consequences for our actions. And with collaboration, it is an action of choice rather than a result of habit.
~ by Bob Kerschbaum